Every relationship in our lives, whether with family, friends, lovers or colleagues, has an entirely different dynamic. Sometimes we feel an immediate connection upon meeting someone; we click. Other times we can work our whole lives to try and find some agreement with another person. We often blame the other for being emotionally inadequate, selfish, polemic. We just don’t click.
Humans have this preconceived idea that because we are the same species, similar behaviors are expected from us all; that people need to ‘change’ in order to become accepted by us. But that’s not the case! Imagine that you work on farm; you would treat each animal differently based on its species, size, attitude, and age. You would be more gentle with a chick than with a bull. You would feed them personalized nutrition based on their frame. What if we could find a way to understand each persons unique endowment, and provide them with their own unique needs? How could we give each person the emotional nutrition they need?
It starts with awareness. An acknowledgment of the fact that although we are all connected, we are all extremely different!
Whether you follow western astrology, Jungian archetypes, Ayurvedic prakriti, or the Chinese zodiac, you see that since ancient times a variety of systems have been designed to explain how human beings differ emotionally, physically and spiritually. There are different ‘categories’ that each individual’s endowment falls into. There is a certain pattern that the human race follows; traditional mystics and scientists have explained this as a reflection of the stars, the elements or the gods. They provide a deep structure for human motivation and meaning.
There is no correct system to follow. Some are more specific, others more general and each resonates more deeply with different people. But the foundation is the same: we are all a unique combination of different energies, some energy patterns are more in harmony with others, and some are more destined for conflict.
Why is this foundation so important to understand? Because an awareness of these patterns allows us to correctly perceive and understand each person. It allows us to detach from relationships enough to recognize the individual’s energy and tendencies without our illusory prejudices clouding our perception. We don’t see their behavior as right or wrong, but rather as a reflection of their unique chemical and energetic make up.
This allows us to connect. We can relate to others only once we see what separates us.
Then we can fulfill our mission as humans: we can provide greater and truer love to others, and we can feed them with the emotional nutrition that they need to feel supported and loved.
We can offer balance and harmony to the people who contradict our own nature. Once we understand someone’s aloofness, we can offer them grounding. Once we understand someone’s stubbornness, we can offer them receptivity. Through understanding of astrology, we can learn to empathize with the deep sensitivity of the water signs. Through understanding of the Chinese zodiac, we can learn to empathize with the stubbornness of the dog. Judgement falls away! We are left with an understanding of the interrelatedness of each unique type.
This empathy helps us grow and provide greater love to ourselves too. It is not about submission to the needs of others, but about infusing more love into our lives as well as theirs. When we see the destined conflict between two energies in a relationship, we detach from the pain that comes from disharmony. We are able to protect ourselves from the things that separate us, through compassion rather than pushing others away, and as a result become more connected. We no longer need to guard our hearts, and we become more open and accepting of the behaviors that once scared us or caused us pain. This lets us cope more effectively with even the most difficult people and have greater flexibility to respond to challenges.
On a personal level, we can also better understand our own journeys once we know how we are hardwired. We can increase communication between our conscious and unconscious minds to connect with our own personal meaning and trigger a greater sense of fulfillment. This is self love: honoring our truest self without judgement. Radical acceptance that leads to inspired action.
So maybe you already follow astrology, or grew up in a culture that enforced a holistic medical system. Or maybe you’re now inspired to study a system! The idea is not to get too caught up in concepts or stereotypes, but to use these tools to inspire a new understanding of yourself and others to become more connected. Watch how your prejudices fall away and your heart extends to those around you. Wake up to who you are on the deepest level, and discover how to use your unique gifts and perspectives to make a difference in the world around you!
Get back to the source,
love,
that connects each and every one of our different beings.